Their Favorite Letter of the Alphabet
by AberrantScript
Summary: Lincoln's older sisters really love one letter of the alphabet. They really want one, specifically their brother's. So, what starts out as an innocent board game quickly escalades into a public nightmare.


**Author's Notes:**

Literally, there is no plot here. There's only straight humor and a bazillion jabs at the fandom and cartoon. Oh, and there's a lemony freshness, too.

This whole thing started out as a joke Flagg made to me because a 'D' was cut off in a message... Who knew something so small could be turned into a story? My working title was "Lincoln's Sisters Want His 'D,'" but I was too scared to use it haha.

I referenced 7 unique stories and comics here. See if you can find them all. (Cheat sheet at the bottom!)

 _Enjoy~!_

Disclaimer: _The Loud House_ Copyright Nickelodeon (2017)

* * *

THEIR FAVORITE LETTER OF THE ALPHABET

In Lori and Leni's bedroom, the six oldest Loud kids are sitting in the floor and playing an innocent game of Scrabble.

"Linc."

Lincoln growled as he wrung a hand through his white hair. "Not now, Lynn!"

Lynn, kneeling between Leni and Lincoln, leant over and brushed her arm against his shoulder. She put her lips on his ear and whispered, " _Luna wants your 'D,' Linc_."

Lincoln put a hand on her face, his sister giggling into his palm as he pushed her away. "No, she doesn't, Lynn! Stop being weird!"

Lynn leant back into her spot, sitting on her heels. She crossed her arms, smirking across the board to where Luna sat. Her smirk opened to reveal pearly whites when she saw a faint blush coating Luna's cheeks. "Yeah, I'm fairly certain she does…"

The rocker glanced up quickly before darting her eyes downward, to the left. "Sh-shut up, Lynn…"

Leni tilted her head to the side, turning to look at the two youngest siblings among them. "I didn't know you could give each other letters!" Leni leaned over Lynn to whisper huskily to her brother, trying to be quiet but being so, so very loud. " _Lincy, I've got two big 'B's, do you want them?_ "

The poor boy choked on his own spit as two globes of inviting flesh swung in front of his eyes, held back only by a sheer nightgown. His Adam's apple bobbed painfully when two pointy nipples poked against the silky material. _Oh gosh, yes, he wanted them! He wanted them soooo much it hurt!_

But then, Lori looked up from her phone and gave Lincoln a dull onceover before turning to Leni. "Don't trade with him, Leni. His _'D'_ is nothing to write home about. Trust me. I've seen it more times than I can count."

Lincoln gnashed his teeth. It was bad enough for Lori to insult his manly pride like that, but to _shiver in disgust?_ That was going too far.

Before he could react with his own insult, Leni turned to Lori in confusion. "What's wrong with his 'D'? Is it too small?"

Luan laughed from her spot beside Lincoln, her cheeks tinging pink. "Yeah, Leni, it's pretty small… a _lowercase_ 'd'… Get it?"

Lynn reached over her brother to fistbump her sister. " _Nice~_ "

As Lincoln fumed between two annoying, laughing sisters, Luna bit her lip and looked up from where she sat cross-legged. "I… I'd trade with you, Linc…"

Her brother looked up in surprise, his brows furrowing in thought.

"I-if you'd want I… I have a 'V'… we could, _y'know_ … let them hang together sometime?"

Lori huffed, flipping her phone sideways to watch another one of those idiot cat-playing-the-piano-like-it's-Beethoven videos. "He doesn't want your amateur 'V,' Luna. What Lincoln needs is one with more experience."

With that, she looked at her brother over her phone, cocking a single eyebrow teasingly.

Leni ruined the effect when she put her hands on her older sister's knee, toppling Lori over, and began whining, "But _Lori!_ You're not even _playing! Let Luna make a word with Lincy!_ "

Luan leaned over the board, her ponytail coming perilously close to messing everything up. " _Ha!_ The only word she wants to make with Linc starts with an 'S' and ends with 'ex!'" She twisted her head around to give Lincoln an exaggerated wink. "Trust me, Linc, I heard her last night screaming out your name as she beat out-"

Luna clamped a hand over Luan's blushing face, her own furiously red and horrified. " _Thank you, Luan, you can shut it now!_ "

Lynn was on her back, rolling side to side, her side splitting in laughter. " _Ah-ha-hahaha!_ "

Meanwhile, Leni was in deep though. "Oh! _Lincy~_ "

Lincoln sighed. _What now?_ "Yes, Leni?"

She suddenly pressed her face close to his, their breaths intermingling, her hands resting on his thighs mere inches from his suddenly _very uppercase_ 'D.'

He gulped, feeling the tips of her nails pressing against his throbbing length.

She smiled crookedly, her eyes half-lidded. " _Do you have some 'S' I could borrow?_ "

His eyes burst wide open, his throat struggling to make words… or breathe. " _Wha-!?_ "

Her face tinted pink, her teeth biting her lower lip. Her fingers took a strand of her hair and placed it behind her ear. " _I need it to make babies, Lincy. Would you help me make babies?_ "

His face drained of color, his heart racing and stilling at the same time.

" _Pwetty pwease?_ "

Lori gagged loudly, pointing her finger in her mouth in disgust. "If you want a thick wad of 'S' so bad, go talk to Lynn."

Lynn sat up quicker than lightning, her face burning in anger and embarrassment. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Lori flicked her bangs out of her face in boredom. "Oh, nothing. Just that… I'm sure that you make enough 'S' to fertilize all of Linc's 'E's." She shrugged her shoulders, turning her attention back to her phone.

Lynn's mouth fell open, her face a brilliant shade of rosy pink. She turned to look at Lincoln and saw his eyes staring straight at Lori's bored face, so cold and angry.

"Well, at least Lynn's 'V' isn't so used up an elephant could stuff its trunk up there."

Leni tapped him on the shoulder. "Lincy, I don't know if you knew this… but there's no elephants in this game."

Lori growled but sat back down, fuming and angrily tapping on another stupid cat video.

Lynn sidled over to her brother, brushing her hip against his. She waited for him to look at her before she turned toward him, her eyes twinkling. She moved a stray lock of hair behind her ear and felt herself heating up. "I, uh… th-thanks."

He smiled warmly at her, putting his hand on her knee… feeling her shiver beneath him. "No problem at all, Lynn."

She took a deep breath, leaning toward him just a little… feeling her braless breasts smoosh against his arm. She pointed down at a little letter in his tray, an _'F.'_ "Maybe we can… do _that_ sometime, Linc…"

His face burned hotly, his eyes going wide as dinner plates. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.

Luna's brows furrowed as she picked up a random letter from her tray and suddenly threw it straight at Lynn's forehead.

"Ow!"

Luna stared defiantly as Lynn rounded on her. "Back off, Lynn. His 'A' is all mine!"

Lynn growled, preparing herself to leap over the board. "Well, I didn't see your name printed there the last time I looked!"

Luan put a finger up and smiled widely. "When was that, Lynn? During a _full moon?_ " She laughed, but paused when Lynn glared daggers at her.

Lori huffed yet again, wishing she'd had the foresight to bring ear buds. "Calm down, Lynn. If you get any more excited, your 'D' is gonna be so long Tarzan could swing from it."

Lynn rounded on Lori's bland face, raising a fist behind her shoulder. But then she lowered at, giving her sister an angry smile. "I'd punch your 'C,' but I don't wanna get herpes, so…"

Leni tilted her head to the side. "Uh, guys… you can have his 'A' all you want. The only thing that matters to me is that I get his big, thick 'D' and enough 'S' to make as many babies as I can." She sighed. "I hope I have enough 'E's…" She turned toward Luna. "If I run out of 'E's can I borrow some of yours?" She twisted her torso toward Lincy, jutting her breasts toward him as she planted her hands between her legs. "I'm thinking he has _a lot_ of 'S.'

Lincoln watched her begin drooling and he felt like fainting. He turned to see Luna staring at him with heart-shaped pupils and red cheeks, drooling as well. He glanced to his left and right, and Lynn and Luan were both blushing and staring at his crotch… Even Lori was looking at his 'D,' licking her lips hungrily.

He grabbed his tray and lifted it into the air. "No! I won't let any of you have my 'D!'"

Lynn suddenly grabbed his arm. "Come on, Linc. Just a peek; that's all we ask."

Luan grabbed his other arm. "Yeah, and then we can show you our 'V's. How does that sound?"

Luna pressed against Luan, reaching a hand toward her brother's pajama pants. "The only letter I can think of when you're around is 'F'…" Her body melted against him, her lips pressing into his tight shirt. " _Ohhh, my 'V' gets sooo wet when I think of your 'S' filling it so full it spills out~_ "

Leni pressed into Lynn's back, her generous bosom resting on her sister's brown hair. " _Lincy, pwease~ I wanna 'F' now. I need an 'F,' but only from you. Do you see my huge, swollen 'B's?_ " She pulled out two letters, but Lincy's eyes were fully fixed on her _much bigger_ assets. " _They're all yours as long as you put your 'S' in me and make tons and tons of babies. Doesn't that sound fun~?_ "

The hopelessly aroused boy, scooted away, feeling the carpet slowly pull his pants and undies down his hips. He had no way of grabbing them and saving his dignity with his hands holding his game pieces safely away…

But he let out a sudden squeak, dropping all of them on his head, when Leni seized his pants by the ankles and jerked them down. "Oh, here, Lincy… _you won't be needing those anymore~_ "

He jumped in the air when he felt three pairs of hands reach for his briefs, already down enough to reveal little pubic hairs.

He turned tail and ran for his life, crashing through the door out into the hallway.

Lynn grinned predatorily, crouching like a panther. " _Oh, I love the thrill of the chase!_ "

Beside her, Luan crouched as well in just a long, cottony nightgown. She looked at Lynn at the same time Lynn looked at her. "First one to snag 'im gets mating rights?"

Lynn smirked sideways. "Oh, you're _on!_ "

Both sisters suddenly flew in opposites directions, crashing into the carpet and tumbling onto the backs. They stared up at Luna with wide, blinking eyes.

Luna growled at them before taking off at a sprint into the hallway. " _He's mine!_ "

Leni gave chase, accidentally running into the frame with her forehead. Probably concussed, she shrieked after her sister. " _Wait, Luna! I need Lincy to make babies! Lots and lots of babies!_ "

Lori grumbled from her spot by the game board. "Are you two losers gonna lay down and let them get what's rightfully yours?"

Lynn and Luan turned toward each other… and grinned evilly.

" _Nope!_ " they chirruped, getting onto their feet and slamming the door shut behind them.

Lori laid back with a contented sigh. "Finally…! Alone at last…" She tapped a few buttons on screen with one hand, her other slipping her boy shorts ( _no panties underneath, heh_ ) down to her ankles. On screen, a little white-haired boy sat on his bed, his hand wrapped snugly around his hard, swollen manhood, and tugging on it furiously. His eyes were squinted shut, his cheeks red… he had even turned Bun-Bun away so his childhood friend wouldn't see his shameful weakness.

" _L-Lori~! Nngh!_ " the boy cried out, throwing his back against the sheets, his toes curling.

Lori's curled lips drooled as she worked her lower lips so fiercely they stung.

* * *

" _Here, Lincy, Lincy~_ " Lynn called out from the kitchen.

" _Baby brother…! Big sis still needs your 'D'!_ " Leni called out into the pantry.

Lynn rolled her eyes as the ditzy girl looked for him behind each can of food.

She and Luan had agreed to split up and misdirect their older sisters, deciding that they'd split their brother between themselves.

Lynn didn't yet know _how_ they could do that…

Lincoln only has _one_ 'V' card and she was going to claim it all for herself, thank you very much.

But where in the earth _was he!?_

Leni had spent ten minutes painstakingly setting aside each box of dried food, each can of preserved mush…

And Lynn had flipped the couch onto its back, threw the TV on the ground, tipped the fridge over, accidentally lit the gas oven and set fire to a mitt as she pulled the doors off of each cabinet. And still no Lincoln! _Grrr!_

She had just walked over to the kitchen table and slammed her face against it when she heard Leni squeal.

" _I found you, Lincy!_ "

Lynn turned her head to the side and sighed. Leni was such an airhead sometimes… as if Lincoln could actually climb up onto those shelves and squeeze behind a box of cer-

Leni stepped out, holding her brother in the air by his waist, crushing her face against his stomach. She pressed myriad kisses against his orange nightshirt.

" _L-Leni! Let me go!_ "

Her hand slipped down to cup his butt and she giggled. " _Not a chance, Lincy… not until I have your warm, oozing 'S' swishing inside of my tummy~_ "

Lynn jumped back onto her feet, her heart racing a mile a minute. If she played her cards just right… she could rescue him from Leni's clutches, mount him, and in two minutes show all her sisters what her 'O' face looked like… and there was no need to share with Luan. She grinned evilly as she snuck up behind her sister…

Lincoln was squirming as Leni slowly pulled his briefs down. She could feel his 'D' pressed into her shoulder, hot and hard, and it made her 'P' tingle spasmically. She grinned up at her brother. "Hey, Lincy…"

He looked down, his hands on her shoulders and still trying to push her away. "W-what?"

She grinned with a cute blush, partially hiding her burning cheeks in his shirt. "Guess what I _have…!_ "

He gulped, his throat bobbing. "Uh…"

She lifted his briefs up by a single finger and twirled them around.

He lunged for them, swiping his hands out wildly… Leni bending back and nearly toppling over… Lynn, behind her, quickly sidestepped to avoid being crushed!

Leni giggled as she righted herself and pushed her brother against a wall. "Hey, Lincy, do you like my socks?"

His eyes darted down to see her bare toes wiggling playfully. "Uh…"

She pushed her braless breasts against his chest, her lips grazing his parted mouth. " _And I have the panties to match~_ "

He choked on his spit as she pushed her gown up, revealing a neatly-trimmed patch of sunshine and two lips. His head bashed the wall when she slid her slick heat along his rigid length. _My gosh!_

She looked at him with hazy eyes, her mouth open, her chest panting. " _We're gonna make a little girl, Linc, with flowing platinum blonde hair, a cute cowlick, and brown eyes…_ "

She gripped his pulsing member and pressed the engorged head against her core. " _And she's gonna call you daddy, and me mommy._ "

She looked into his eyes as she sunk just the very tip inside. " _Doesn't that sound great?_ "

Lincoln had resigned himself to his fate… his body unwillingly prepared to defile his sweetest, purest sister…

"Hey, Leni!"

The sudden voice shocked them from their stupor…

Lynn crept her fingers up Leni's gown.

" _There's a spider in your nightie!"_

Leni shrieked incoherently, screeching as she dropped her brother to the ground and ran off, rubbing her hands painfully on every inch of her body, " _SPIDER! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!_ "

Lincoln was rubbing a hand on the back of his head, trying to ease away his sudden pain, when he caught sight of Lynn ripping off her boy shorts… revealing she had the panties to match her sister's _also_.

Lynn smirked as she lifted her white shirt up just enough to show her toned stomach, rubbing a circle above her groin. " _Mmm I can't wait to have you inside me~_ "

She squatted down above him, shivering when his very tip entered her. " _Ahhh~_ "

Lincoln, freaking out on his adrenaline high, threw his hands out, cupping her breasts, and _twisted_.

Lynn cried out, "You _pervert! That's incest!_ "

Lincoln stared at her blankly. Seriously, what did she think _they_ were doing to _him?_ Just, whatever then.

Pushing her away, he took off for the living room. The front door in sight…

* * *

"- _GET IT OFF!_ "

Luna's head darted to the hallway. "That was Leni!"

Luan bit her lip. She needed to distract Luna… but let's be honest. Can anyone trust Lynn to control herself?

She thought for a single millisecond.

No. You can't trust her as far as you can throw her.

So, she did absolutely nothing when Luna charged toward the stairs… when she stared at the living room.

She _did_ stop her when Luna back up and took off at a run, trying to leap from the top step when they saw Linc running toward the front door.

Grabbing her purple nightie in a fist, Luan yelled for her attention, " _Stop!_ …this isn't _Night of the Bimbo Sisters!_ You're not a sex-crazed zombie girl… you're still human, so _act like it!_ "

Luna, panting heavily, her eyes wild and crazy, just stood there licking her lips. "You're right, I _am_ human…"

Luan stood speechless as Luna ripped her long shirt and ran from it, with the panties that matched Leni and Lynn's, and sprinted right out the front door. Without any bra on, her breasts jiggled happily as she gained on her brother swiftly.

" _Lincy!_ "

Lincoln's racing heart stilled as he glanced behind him. _Oh my gosh, she's almost on top of me! Move fast, you stupid twig legs!_

" _Lynn was right! I WANT YOUR 'D'!_ "

Lincoln grunted when he felt a body slam into his back, causing him to scrape against the concrete sidewalk.

Luna wasted no time in flipping him over and aligning their sexes. With a long, deep, sexy moan she sunk herself on him.

Throwing her thin arms into the air, she cheered loudly, " _I did it! I GOT HIS 'D'!_ "

Lincoln grunted when she started bouncing on his lap furiously, so slick, so tight, so _nngh! Luna you're gonna kill me!_

She put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, her neck bent back as she cried out on the side of the street.

Women hid their children's eyes, screaming hysterically.

Men drooled as their wives beat them over the head with purses, knocking them unconscious.

A window rolled down on a black van, a rainbow colored sticker saying, " _FREE CANDY!_ …this is _not_ a pedo van" was plastered on the side. A camera snuck out and began filming. "Aw man! I can _totally_ sell this to those fifth graders at Royal Woods Consolidated!"

Suddenly, flashing lights lit up the scene as a Sheriff's deputy pulled up and shook his head.

Things were calm and peaceful in their little town until about a year ago.

Suddenly, everyone went _crazy!_

Six months ago this nice, lovely family with eleven kids suddenly went feral and beat up the only brother within an inch of death; gave him a terrible case of sibling-phobia the likes of which Royal Woods had never seen before.

Then, two months ago, a madman escaped and started murdering everyone, taking two kids hostage during a freak snow storm; there was a rumor they were siblings, and the girl was pregnant… but nothing could be proven.

And now? The Office had received a call just four days ago about a mother suddenly turning insane, attacking her husband, trying to rape her son, and _who knows what else!?_

It was his job to clean up this mess, and he _hated_ it.

Seriously, stuff like _this_ :

Luna humped against her brother, his sperm running down his member as she kept pumping him for another round…

 _It was sick!_

Seriously, do people _get off_ on this stuff!?

He pulled a taser from a pouch on his belt. There was nothing else you could use when things got this bad. The innocent citizens were so far gone they didn't even remember their own names...

With solemn eyes, he walked over... honestly, he felt terrible for them.

In the goodness of his heart he let the girl get what she wanted before her whole world would shatter in electrifying pain. _Heh, that comedienne girl would love that one_.

" _Oh, yisss! Ahh~ give it to me harder! Haaarrderrrr~!_ "

When she suddenly collapsed, slipping off to the ground beside the boy, her vagina oozing out waves of cum, he sighed.

He wouldn't have to taser her. _Thank God!_

He turned to the boy and saw he was passed out as well.

He holstered his taser and picked the teenage girl up first, slipping her into the back seat. Still-warm sperm dripped onto his shoes and he grimaced.

"They don't pay me enough for this."

* * *

 _One week later_ …

Luna, her arms wrapped around her chest in thick pale bindings commonly known as a straightjacket, looked around the sterile office in wonder. There was a petunia on a table and it was purple. She _loved_ purple. But she didn't know why. She felt this insane urge to get up and walk over to it and put the pot on her head just so she'd have a little purple on her body. Good Lord, that thought alone was making her aroused. _Purple~ mmmmm!_

The door opened and in walked a middle-aged man with greying hair and a crooked tie around his neck. He sat down in a chair facing the wide-eyed girl and he sighed.

He was getting _really_ tired of seeing this girl… and her siblings.

Luna giggled, "What's up, doc?" But grimaced as she felt a pained twinge deep in her brain. Apparently, she's not allowed to make jokes…?

"So, what seems to be on your mind, Luna?"

Luna gave him a crooked grin. "I got the 'D'!"

He shook his head, running a hand down his tired face.

"Of course you did."

Luna shook her butt in the chair, screeching at the top of her lungs, " _I GOT THE 'D'! HEY EVERYBODY, GUESS WHAT? I GOT SOME 'S' TOO!_ "

She refocused on the psychiatrist and grinned cutely, her eyes twinkling. "It's all deep inside my 'V', just where I want it. Did you know that? _Ahhh~_ "

He sighed again.

This was going to take awhile.

* * *

 **Cheat Sheet:**

When Leni says she has the panties to match her missing socks (Flagg1991's _Sleep With Me_ , Chapter 3)

Leni's description of their future daughter is based off of JumpJump's Liena ( _Future Comic_ )

When Lincoln twists Lynn's breasts and she accuses him of incest (Flagg's _The Loud House Catch-All Drawer_ , Chapter 6)

Luan directly references Flagg's _Night of the Bimbo Sisters_ , but of special note _**(**_ ** _spoiler alert)_** : in the original, Luna did not become a zombie; she was murdered.

When the deputy references a near-murder of an innocent boy by his sisters six months ago; that coincides with the plot and original publish date for That Engineer's _Syngenesophobia_.

When the deputy references a madman and freak storm two months ago; that coincides with the events and original publish date for Flagg's _A Storm in Their Lives_.

When the deputy references a recent call about a psychotic woman; that is about Flagg's _My Lincoln._

Finally, the van with "FREE CANDY" printed on the side was Flagg's joke. And the usage of "Royal Woods Consolidated" is a nod to several of his great loudcest stories.


End file.
